Chloe's Place Logo

Don't you just love it?! Thanks Mindi for designing such a sweet and winsome design to represent the ministry of Chloe's Place. The actual color is in pastel shades of yellow, pink, and green with black lettering...I'm not sure why the blog interprets the colors differently, but I like it this way too! If I can figure out how to correct the color, I will fix it.

Positive Parenting... FAMILY Rules

During the recent months of research and discovery I have read several books. I aim to learn all I can on subjects that impact the ministry of Chloe's Place! Yesterday I read Positive Parenting With A Plan (Grades K-12)...Family Rules by Matthew A. Johnson, Psy.D., MSW. I am really excited about this book and the plan it provides!

There is legitimate concern for creating a family environment for multiple young women (and their children) with diverse backgrounds. Creating and maintaining a peaceful, nurturing atmosphere could prove to be quite a challenge! We must have a tried and true system in place before we admit our first teen mom and her children; this book outlines an excellent design for chaos free 'parenting'.

Dr. J and his FAMILY Rules parenting system offers a powerful alternative to family chaos. Our Chloe's Place residents may well come from homes that lack consistent structure and organization. Dr. J uses what he has learned in 2 decades as a mental health professional to outline parenting strategies that are positive, in-sync with scripture, and easy to understand. The ultimate goal of FAMILY Rules is it improve communication in the home through clarification of the rules, consequences, and rewards. He has taken strategies implemented in group homes, residential treatment facilities, and acute care facilities for children and structured them for individual families. I am excited to use this plan at Chloe's Place.

I really cannot imagine a family with children in Grades K-12 that would not benefit from reading and following Dr. J's FAMILY Rules. If you are interested in checking it out go to www.family-rules.com

A Big Decision

There are three primary models for serving young teen moms and their children that we have considered. Maternity Homes, Self-Sufficiency Homes, and Transitional Living Centers. We did careful assessment of each ministry opportunity. Each has it's own set of challenges, and requirements. We factored in our desire to provide Christian nurture to the ones we serve, as well as specific topics and curriculum that seems vital in equipping the young women to reach their potential.

Maternity Homes generally provide a secure and supervised environment for pregnant women in need of living assistance. They are assisted in developing a birthing plan. The philosophy of those I have interviewed seemed most likely to encourage adoption for teens mom. The expected stay is through the length of gestation, with some offering after-care services.

I was thrilled to attend the National Christian Housing Conference in Cary, NC in August. There were around 40 people in attendance, representing 13 states and probably 10 Maternity Homes. I was only one from Ohio. There were executive directors, house parents, program directors, and administrative staff. It was a very welcoming group. If they grew weary of my questions, no one let on. I learned a great deal about the joys and challenges of ministry to pregnant teens.

The Self-sufficiency Home model was less known to our team. In this model the focus is on teen moms who are committed to parenting. 'Self-sufficiency' residential programs serve teen moms and their children. The specific model that caught our attention is Hope House of Colorado. At Hope House the program offers a 5-phase self-sufficiency program which is generally completed within two years. Education is a priority; along with life skill development and parenting.

The Glenn at St. Joseph in Dayton, OH is an awesome example of a Transitional Living Residence. In this model which serves older moms (18 years and older) the goals and objectives are similar. Education and life skill enhancement are offered in the context of Christian nurture. The women served have completed high school or have their GED.

I am encouraged to find incredible ministry occurring through each model in the centers that I have communicated with and/or visited.

On August 26, 2008 our Foundation Building Team came together to decide on the model that most closely aligns with our vision, resources, and skill sets. We came with some differing preferences and expectations. It was a precious experience to come together in prayer and then make a unanimous decision to move forward with establishing a self-sufficiency home for teen moms and their children. At this writing I am looking forward to my upcoming visit to Hope House of Colorado on Oct. 31. The leadership at Hope House of Colorado has been a source of encouragement in our early days of development; we are looking forward to a long and mutually beneficial relationship!

Teen Pregnancy Facts

In the past number of months we have spent literally 100's of hours researching the needs of pregnant and parenting teens. This entry is provided to share snippets of what we have learned.

Teen Pregnancy

Background

For almost all of human history, women began their careers as mothers when they were teenagers. Until the years preceding World War II, girls usually got married within a few years of reaching menarche (the first menstrual period), which occurred when the girls were 14 or 15 years old. Since there wasn’t any effective form of contraception, they tended to get pregnant soon after the wedding. Indeed, there were more teenage women who became parents in 1960 than there are now, but most of these women were married, or they got married while they were pregnant.

The major change in the situation has been the public acceptance of single motherhood along with recognition that women definitely need a complete education, at least through high school, if they are to be financially self-sufficient. Only about 25 percent of children grow up in a house with both birth parents these days, compared to more than 50 percent just 40 years ago. The increase in numbers of single parents due to divorce has led to a societal acceptance of single parenthood in general, with the consequence of societal acceptance of single teenage mothers as well, even if they’ve never been married. (Robert T. Brown, MD)

What have we learned about teen pregnancy?

· One million teens in the USA will become pregnant over the next twelve months. Ninety-five percent of those pregnancies are unintended. About one third will end in abortion; one third will end in spontaneous miscarriage; and one third will continue their pregnancy to term and keep their baby.

· More than half of them are 17 years old or younger when they have their first pregnancy.

· Approximately 40 percent of young women become pregnant before they reach 20 years old.

· The United States of America has double the adolescent pregnancy and birth rates of any other industrialized country.

· The poorer the young woman, the more likely she will become a mother.

· Less than one-third of teens who have babies before the age of 18 finish high school.

· Almost half of all teen mothers end up on welfare.

· Less than 25 percent of births to teens occur within wedlock.

· The birth rate for teens has been declining in recent years.

· Between 22 and 30% of teen mothers under age 18 have a second baby within two years after the birth of their first baby.

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What are other consequences of teenage pregnancy?

• Life may be difficult for a teenage mother and her child. Teen mothers are more likely to drop out of high school than girls who delay childbearing. Only 40 percent of teenagers who have children before age 18 go on to graduate from high school, compared to 75 percent of teens from similar social and economic backgrounds who do not give birth until ages 20 or 21 .

• With her education cut short, a teenage mother may lack job skills, making it hard for her to find and keep a job. A teenage mother may become financially dependent on her family or on public assistance. Teen mothers are more likely to live in poverty than women who delay childbearing, and more than 75 percent of all unmarried teen mothers go on welfare within five years of the birth of their first child .
• About 78 percent of children born to an unmarried teenage high-school dropout live in poverty, compared to 9 percent of children born to women over age 20 who are married and high school graduates . A child born to a teenage mother is 50 percent more likely to repeat a grade in school and is more likely to perform poorly on standardized tests and drop out before finishing high school .
  

What are the health risks to babies of teen mothers?

A baby born to a teenage mother is at higher risk for certain serious problems and death than a baby born to an older mother. Babies of teenage mothers are more likely to die in the first year of life than babies of women in their twenties and thirties. The risk is highest for babies of the mothers under age 15. In 2004, 17.1 out of every 1,000 babies of women under age 15 died, compared to 6.8 per 1,000 for babies of women of all ages . In 2004, 9.9 percent of mothers ages 15 to 19 years had a low-birthweight baby, compared to 8.1 percent for mothers of all ages. The risk is higher for younger mothers :

11.6 percent of 15-year-old mothers had a low-birthweight baby in 2004; 18,274 babies were born to girls this age, with 2,124 of low birthweight

9.4 percent of women aged 19 had a low-birthweight baby in 2004; 164,045 babies were born to these women, with 15,376 of low birthweight

Low-birthweight babies may have organs that are not fully developed. This can lead to lung problems, such as respiratory distress syndrome, bleeding in the brain, vision loss and serious intestinal problems.

Very low-birthweight babies (less than 3 1/3 pounds) are nearly 100 times as likely to die, and moderately low-birthweight babies (between 3 1/3 and 5½ pounds) are more than 5 times as likely to die in their first year of life than normal-weight babies . (March of Dimes)

Chloe's Place Teams

By April of 2008 plans for Chloe's Place were swirling in my brain. So much to do. So much to learn. So much help needed! I credit my friend Ruth O. with encouraging the first priority to be establishing an Intercessory Prayer team. I knew for certain that I had no desire or energy to make wrong choices or plans that would lead us to meander down paths of indecision. Ruth O. sought people who embraced our vision and the power of prayer. It only took her a couple of weeks to establish the Chloe's Place Intercessory Prayer Team. The team members are committed to praying for the design, location, staff and women and children we will serve. They pray for the ministry of Chloe's Place every single day!

Our next step was to convene a work group with expertise needed to define and design the ministry we would offer to young women and their children. Ruth O. agreed to stay connected and serve as the liaison between the planners and the prayers.

Marie O. is a dear friend for the past 20 years. She has a tender heart bent toward leading women to health and wholeness. Marie has her MBA and recently completed seminary studies and a Master's degree in counseling.

Knowing we would need legal counsel, I missed my friend, Dave Chilcoat. Dave was generous in his counsel and encouragement through the early days of CHLOE. Sadly, Dave passed away in 2006. Once again, God was faithful and brought Megan R. to our awareness. Megan is a delightful young attorney with a personal passion for the work. She brings energy, expertise, and far reaching connections.

One of the first people that came to mind when I pondered assembling such a design team was Kelly W. We had worked together years ago, but had lost contact for the past 6 years. I recalled her incredible gifts including leadership and vision, I hoped I could find her current address. A few days later we literally ran into each other at Nationwide Children's Hospital. I had only a couple of minutes to tell her about the vision for Chloe's Place but knew by the end of our conversation that Kelly would be on board. She is. We are Chloe's Place Foundation Building Team.

I hope that each of these women will share their hearts and thoughts in this blog, as time passes.

Puzzle Pieces

The vision for Chloe's Place began to unfold following an assessment of the work and connections of CHLOE. Here are a few of the projects, programs, and opportunities that come to mind:

• Equipping women to become leaders of STEP (Systematic Training for Effective Parenting)
  
• Equipping several young women to provide training to 'tweens' through the 'Safe Sitter' program
• Serving alongside leaders of Somali refugee organizations to developing and providing health and life skill education and resources to refugee women living in our community.
• Collaborating with professors from Otterbein College to develop and receive grant funding for health education programs.
• Training to become a coordinator for AVA ( Advocacy for Victims of Abuse)
• Participation in an Ohio Department of Health work group addressing Shaken Baby Syndrome.
• Work as a Child Care Health Consultant

The pattern of interest in serving women and their children was obvious. This was paired with 10 years service as a Community Health Nurse in Maternal and Child Health and 2 earlier years working in a Residential Drug Treatment program for teens.

The conclusion drawn from this assessment is that each of the projects and programs designed and/or offered by CHLOE serve as pieces of the ministry puzzle and were not intended to be a ministry in it's own right.

New life and direction for CHLOE will center around serving young women and their children. We are equipped to do so and have a passion for the work.

A 'Calling' Revisited

In 1999 I set out on an incredible journey. In answering a new call on my life I left the familiar and set out to establish a ministry. CHLOE is an acronym Community Health & Life skills Opportunities and Education. My heart longs to be faithful in this calling. The past seven years have sped by. If you are interested in learning about the work done in CHLOE's first years, please check our our website at www.chloeinc.org.

Early in 2008 after a time of struggling to understand where my faithfulness in ministry had taken me, in regard to the 'calling', and to know how best to be faithful; my friend Ruth O. joined me in prayer. I shared my heart and we sought God's strong direction. What has begun to unfold since that cold day in February has been rather dramatic. The vision for Chloe's Place was born and new energy for the journey emerged.

A time of retrospection was most helpful in clearing the fog that had clouded my understanding of what it is to have a 'calling' and being faithful to it. I realized that when I committed my life to what I understood this 'calling' to be, I brought with that a very specific expectations.

I expected:

• God's blessing and provision to pave the way for a successful ministry that would touch many lives .
• The Christian community, specifically, to embrace the work.
• Steady growth and expansion of opportunities to engage the community and serve those seeking to gain knowledge and understanding of health and opportunities to develop/enhance life skills.
• Expansion of the ministry to enable us to collaborate with like-spirited professionals who would offer a multitude of life enriching services.
• By the year 2008 to be known throughout the community as an excellent resource for health and life skill education and have a physical location for services.

What I didn't expect:

• To grow weary in the journey
• To be 'let down' or 'stood up' by people who had voiced strong affirmation and commitment to the ministry.
• To learn so much about a diverse range of topics
• To be accepted graciously by many who do not understand or embrace my Christian values.
• To be 'operating' from my basement.

So... What have I learned?

The 'calling' I embrace is to be Available, Faithful and Bold in Christian ministry.

• My expectation of success and God's are on different planes.
• The diverse opportunities I have had were all worthwhile and enriching... even the flops!
  
• My worth in God's eyes is not dependent on my productivity.
• If I am privileged to experience the fulfillment of this vision, I will be delighted. If I am able only to plant some seeds and not experience the harvest, I will be content.
• It is a joyful journey. I will continue to be available, faithful, and bold.