Sink or Swim

I am young; almost a woman... dangling my feet in a shallow stream. My hormones are surging. Boys are intriguing. My media idols make love and romance seem worth doing whatever it takes to find this elusive thing called ‘love’. I’m casting a line... I’ll reel in true love, right?

I’m a young woman...wading in the lake. The ‘boyfriend’ makes me feel special; loved. My friends are fickle... but he will never be. The time we spend together is the best part of my week. Our affection has turned physical; we are caught up in stealing private time. Everybody’s doing it...right?

I’m young woman in over my head... The physical relationship has become the end all... the time for friends and family has become less important... No one can possibly understand the love we share. He will love me forever...right?

Pregnant? Me? What a scary, awesome, puky, overwhelming river I’ve found myself in. Cool, right? We’ll do this together, right? My perfect little family. We’ll live happily ever after ....right?

There is whitewater in sight. I didn’t know life could change so much, so quickly! Up a creek, without a paddle, that’s me! I didn’t expect to face these currents of emotion and physical changes alone. I mean, I’m not really alone...’alone’... but this is my body, my future, my heart trawling...just trying to snag a chance at happiness. No matter how scared I get, I’ll never let em see me sweat! I won’t drown, right?

The water is swirling around me! I thought I could swim, but this current is taking me under! No sleep, flabby body, crying baby, condescending family, poopy diapers, mood swings, fatigue; I’m really scared. I thought my baby would love me more than anything... I’m not so sure that’s how it is. I thought my boyfriend was the real and forever thing. Some sweet thing in skinny jeans has caught his eye. I think he is gone for good. This is a bad dream, right?

The current has pulled me under. I come up for air, gasping, flailing; there is no help in sight. Even if I can dog paddle to that island just in sight... can I survive there; alone, broke, weary, hopeless, a single mom? It isn’t supposed to be like this, right?

He threw me a life preserver...he promised love and care...what a man! What a sham! My worst days of wading, swimming, even flailing were better than this! I’m no longer my own. He says I owe him my life. What kind of life is this? There is no hope. There is no joy. There is only turbulence. I live in fear, violence is on my doorstep. I will surely drown.

The water is cold and murky, the seaweed has tangled around me...I’m bound without hope or help. Life has choked me into submission. I’m too weak to fight and to frail to beat the evil that pummels me. I’m drowning, for sure. Life will be different for my kids, right?

Most young women survive the turbulence of adolescence and reach maturity unscathed. Some find the love they are seeking; an unplanned pregnancy is embraced and life goes on. Many, too many, are less fortunate. An astounding number succumb to the tyranny of urgent longings and un-tethered lust. They are looking for love in all the wrong places. For those who have plunged in and find themselves in over their head we extend a hand... an offer to come along side... to help them gain their bearings as we stand with them. Young single moms need a community to embrace them. They need mature women to come alongside them, live life with them, model healthy choices and teach them life skills. Young single moms love their babies; they long to be good parents; they simply need coaching, skill and confidence.

We won’t reach every floundering young single mom, but those we engage will have opportunity to become healthy, advocates for themselves and their children as they work toward self-sufficiency. They will learn that they are valuable, capable, and worthy women.
Go to our website to find ways to engage in this work...or give me a call.

614-477-1426

Moving Forward

When I left my position as a Community Health Nurse, having served a multitude of young mothers and their infants/children, I knew the course was set for the rest of my career. I determined to establish a not-for-profit organization able to equip others with health and life skill education. CHLOE, Inc (community health & life skills opportunities & education) was born.
Ten years and many projects later, the focus of CHLOE, Inc has narrowed to equipping young single moms with the education and life skills they need to break cycles of poverty . Our ultimate goal is to establish a self-sufficiency home for young moms needing a safe place to live for a couple of years while they are working on educational, relational, and career milestones. Such a huge vision takes a firm foundation; we work daily to make sure it is indeed sound and enduring as we long to have our ‘place’ and program operational . In the meantime our outreach program is ready to launch! Chloe’s Moms Connection is designed to engage 12 young single moms for 12 months. Parenting and Life Skill classes will be held on Saturday afternoons, the second and fourth week of each month. We are delighted with the Partners in Parenting Education curriculum and excited about sharing life enriching skills that will be both fun and esteem building. Children and infants involved will have access to ongoing developmental screening. Our Mentors and capable childcare workers will make the experience even better for the moms we serve. There are no participant fees for the program .
After hearing of our plan a church offered us classroom and child care space! We are especially grateful as the Sharon Woods Blvd. neighborhood of Columbus, OH is exactly where we hope to have our self-sufficiency home and the 43229 zip code area serve as the hub for our work! Thank you Pastor Dreisbach and Sharon Woods Baptist Church family!
This is a season of joyful anticipation as we begin to offer guidance and resources to young single moms and their children.

I've Been Thinking....

Since early in the process of bringing into focus the vision for Chloe’s Place (a self-sufficiency home for young single moms and their children) I’ve had a snap shot in my mind of just how it might look. It has a warm, comfy, living area with space for each little family to l live in community with the other little families; all living and working together toward common goals. The living space, the one I see when I ponder it all, does not look like a house from the 50’s (Think Leave it to Beaver or Father Knows Best). It does not look like the house I live in; eclectic furnishings, with lingering ‘country/traditional’ themes. I picture a modern space, open, with lots of space for children to play. It has wood floors and big furniture and an awesome kitchen for the moms to gather round as they learn to cook (Think classy loft).

There is another unique twist in my vision of Chloe’s Place. The living space, sits a floor above a bustling business... (Think coffee shop/cafe). The ‘business’ is a part of the whole package. It is managed and operated by people committed to the self-sufficiency vision. It serves several important functions:
≠ Provides the primary funding stream for CHLOE, Inc. residential and outreach programs, promoting organizational self-sufficiency.
≠ Provides hands on job skills training for residents of Chloe’s Place equipping them toward self-sufficiency.
≠ Provides the community with an excellent product and service. (Think food, drink, meeting space)
≠ Provides an opportunity to equip coffee growers in a Third World Country with resources toward their self-sufficiency.

I’ve pondered the whole ‘micro-enterprise’ potential, long before I knew it was becoming a trend for not for profit organizations in the U.S. It makes complete sense to me! We know that a residential program with educational and job skills programming is not an inexpensive venture. While individual and corporate donations will always play a vital role in the work, it seems reasonable to work toward having a substantial amount of the budget earned from within; self-sufficiency modeled from the core of the organization. Grant funds have long been the 'brass ring' for non profits. Over the past 10 years I have watched that funding stream get increasingly difficult to access. For example, in September we submitted a proposal for $ 8,000.00 to fund a CHLOE Outreach program that is ready to launch. A total amount of $200,000.00 available to be divided between 20 organizations... each receiving up to $10,000.00. I received word from the funding organization that they received 1,000 proposals requesting a total of $8 million! We are waiting to hear if our proposal will be awarded funds.

I recently met Tom Thompson, founder/director of The Refuge, a ministry to men in Vinton County, OH. Their operation is 80% funded by the catering business they established! Tom shared that the money is only a portion of the benefit that developing the catering business has afforded. Today I was reading about Q’s Cafe in Seattle and Ebenezer’s Coffee House in D.C.; I love their vision and successful implementation!

I no longer pine for the ‘miracle’ of instant embodiment of the vision. I’m most grateful for what I am learning, how I am growing spiritually and professionally in this venture. I am at peace with the pace of development and the realization that what CHLOE, Inc and Chloe’s Place is to do requires a firm, broad foundation that is laid brick by brick, day by day. I believe that if I accomplish what is reasonable and responsible each day, that before you know it you will be receiving an invitation to join in the grand opening celebration...and perhaps even have a cup o’ Joe with us, at our place!

How I Spent My Summer....

I can't believe how long it has been since I have posted an update! ... So sorry to keep you in the dark on the progress of CHLOE, Inc and Chloe's Place. I have been contentedly busy over the past several months.

Late in the Spring we had a bit of a set back due to the departure of one of our key leaders. That happens from time to time. I've learned to embrace and enjoy each contribution of time and talent for how ever long someone has to invest in our work!

Over the summer I've enjoyed working with two women who have come on board to help move us to the 'next step'. They, like everyone else, are busy, busy, busy people! I so appreciate their investment of time and value their unique and valuable skills!

One highlight for me has been to start looking at houses for Chloe's Place. I realize that we do not have funds in place, but it is important to have an idea of the style, neighborhood, and price to be able to make wise plans and apply for funding. We have made some decisions that will direct our focus when the time is right!

I feel confident that we are on track for accomplishing what needs to be done as we continue to dream of getting Chloe's Place up and running. The program pieces and policies are intact. The next step is to advance the work by securing funds for operational expenses and the house. We are looking at grants and refining our approach to fund raising. This is not in-expensive work! So far all of us are volunteering our time. It will be such a delight to be able to pay salaries one day!

We are working out the details,(and submitting a grant proposal for funding) for a really exciting Outreach program. We are calling it "Moms Connections". We will enroll 12 young single moms willing to commit to meeting twice a month for 1 year. Once a month we will host a Parenting Class and once a month a Life Skill class. We will provide child care, help with transportation and serve a light meal at each meeting. Each participant will have a Mentor that will spend time with her regularly. I am really excited about the potential for this program. We will need to enlist and train Mentors, get donations of food and other materials, and find just the right place to hold the classes (preferably on the bus line). I'm interviewing women to co-teach the classes with me. Receiving the grant fund, or not, will impact the plan, so not all decisions can be made just yet. If you live in the NE Columbus,OH area and have connections with a great location we could use for the classes... give me a call!

When I began unfolding the vision of establishing a self-sufficiency home for young single moms I knew it was a significant undertaking... I didn't understand all it would require! I expected things pop up left and right and the work to begin at record speed. It is now 2 years in to the venture. I realize what an incredible blessing the slow and steady pace has been. I have been challenged on every front with decisions and considerations that were new to me. I have learned the value of patience and gained confidence in trusting beyond my own abilities. I'm not sure when the awesome day of celebrating the opening of Chloe's Place will happen. I am sure that when that day comes I will not regret the months spent seeking the best plan and design.

There is a new energy present in the work, a steady stream of people affirming the plan and looking for their place to be involved. I'm ready to take the Next Step... will you join me?

Cha Ching!

Who would have thought it? The cost of offering a desperately needed, well planned and executed program is staggering!

I decided early on that programs and services through CHLOE, Inc would be offered as we had funds to pay as we go. We plan carefully, acquire the needed resources, and then proceed.

When we began the quest, to establish a self-sufficiency home, we had around $10,000.00 in our CHLOE account. Most of the funds we have available have been donated by individuals. We recently received a gift from a local church for $1200.00 that is being applied to the expenses of our new GED Mentoring program.

In 2009 we determined that we must focus our efforts on programing primary to achieving our mission and not wait passively for the opportunity and funds to purchase and renovate property. The GED Mentoring program quickly rose to the top of the list! It is, after all, our mission to equip young single moms with tools to break their personal cycle of poverty. Few people question that education is a ‘key’ tool. Creative planning and willing volunteers have impacted the cost; we are comfortable with the investment required to see our GED Pilot Project through.
Curriculum and materials $900.00 (consumable goods)
Test fees for 5 students $250.00
Miscellaneous expenses... yet to be determined

Prior to initiating 'direct services' it was imperative for us to consider risk management issues and to purchase appropriate liability insurance.
General Liability Policy...$3,000.00 (covers 1 year/all mentoring/tutoring programs)

While the GED Mentoring pilot gets off the ground, we are looking forward to our next program component, Parenting Classes. As funds are available this program will be offered by late summer of 2010. Our vision to have Chloe’s Place (residential program) within the year has not dimmed.

So what is our plan to raise and maintain funds for the ongoing work and expansion of CHLOE, Inc.? We have often looked to an established self-sufficiency home for guidance and patterns. While our financial dynamics may evolve very differently, their financial report offers insight. Hope House of Colorado disclosed the following information in their 2009 Annual Report:
INCOME
In kind 5%
Individual contributions 30%
Corporate gifts 12%
Events 41%
Grants 10%
Other 3%

Our perspective:

In kind: We are identifying and recruiting professionals willing to donate legal, media presence, administrative and other services
Individual: Through personal contact, Internet opportunities, and printed materials we are raising awareness of the plight of young single moms. We believe there are more than adequate resources in the hands of caring people willing and able to invest in this important work. Our job is to articulate clearly and invite response. With confidence in our vision and in our broad and diverse community, we request support. We steer away from fund-raising strategies that employ manipulation or imposed guilt... I personally shun those tactics and the organizations that use them!
Corporate We benefit from the investment of other organizations, social networks, and businesses and look forward to expanding that support base.
Events are popular and worthwhile for Non Profits. Expect to hear of our first major fund-raising event in the fall!
Grant funds are less available in our current economy. We are anticipating favorable evidence of our work through the GED pilot, to make us eligible to apply those targeting our focus. We are currently preparing a proposal for a $250,000.00 grant to be awarded based on online votes received to support the proposal! Be watching for an invitation to vote and to spread the invitation to your cyber-circle of friends and colleagues.
Other: While several of the funding sources must focus on large sums of money needed for properties, programs, salaries, and insurance costs, etc. we are creating some fun projects intended to raise smaller amounts to cover the cost of specific projects. Our first 'project fund-raiser' is in the works:
We are conducting an Amateur Photography Contest and a Children's Art Contest.
The winning entries in each category will grace the pages of our first CHLOE
Calendars. We are also thrilled that awesome local photographer, Erin Collins will
supply a collection of Amazing Animal Photos for a third calendar. We plan to
begin marketing them in October of 2010.

In conclusion, I am increasingly attentive to fund-raising discussions, promotions, and strategies. I believe that open honest discussion about the plight of young single moms and our cost to equip and release them, empowered to be self-sufficient, is necessary. I believe that transparent and prudent financial planning is required and must be communicated clearly. You are invited to consider our work and to join us in whatever way you are able, we need you.

Bless the Babies

I have been thinking about moms and young babies today. There are at least eight in my circle of friends and family. I’ve been privileged to wait with happy expectation for the arrival of each of these little ones. I’ve shopped for gifts that I hoped would be helpful or entertaining. I have waited as ‘due dates’ approach for the joyful news that they have ‘arrived’, healthy and whole. Some I have cradled in my arms in their early weeks of life. Some I have ‘met’ through animated reports of their perfection by grandparents or parents. Extraordinary and plentiful photo albums traverse cyberspace to be enjoyed by friends far and near. These little ones have well appointed nurseries, drawers bursting with adorable outfits, stashes of diapers, and toys laying in wait for developmental readiness. More striking than the accouterments are their parents; well equipped to care for and nurture their babies. Oh that all infants would be welcomed as these, wee ones, have been welcomed.

I have been thinking about moms and babies today. There were many born just this week and last, and more will come next week … to young single moms. Some have been greeted with great joy and embraced by a caring extended family. Others, too many, have been greeted by just their mom, full of love, but saddled with fear, ignorance, poverty, and isolation. There are no fanciful decorations adorning the cramped quarters they call home. A meager supply of outfits, diapers and formula have been laid back. The father has already skipped out, or is on the move.

I have been thinking about moms and babies today. Some are born into a dazzling array of well equipped families; some are born into poverty that permeates all facets of life. The disparities are breathtaking.

There are multiple unique differences between the parents of the babies in paragraphs A & B. Some of the differences are clearly generational issues; some can be linked to environmental disproportion, while others stem from their capacity for making wise choices. A glaring difference is educational achievement. As we are able to equip young single moms with their GED and encourage them toward college or vocational school, we will begin to help break their cycle of poverty. Not only will this change the life path for each mom, but for her children, and their children… picture the rings around a single pebble tossed in a clear lake… the ‘ripple effect’ in this scenario is a beautiful thing.

Think of a little one in your circle. Think of a little one in the grasp of poverty. We can make a difference, will you help? For more information about our work see www.chloeinc.org

Teamwork

Last week we were invited to set up a display table and meet and greet participants at a networking event… Connection With Intention was an important event within the networking community of Central Ohio. Renee Belbeck,founder/president of National Association of W.O.M.E.N., invited us to be the beneficiary charity of the event. Erin, our Program Director was invited to give a brief speech about Chloe’s Place.

We met some great people! Many were interested in learning more about the work of Chloe’s Place. Quite a few signed up to keep up with our progress. Erin did a great job of introducing Chloe’s Place and making our purpose clear….in a 3 minute presentation!

I learned something about myself. I have known that I am wired pretty close to the introvert end of the spectrum. Being an introvert has often seemed a burden as I hone my leadership skills. Extroverts intrigue me, inspire me and leave my head spinning! As an introvert, having the opportunity to meet and greet 150 people that I do not know, at a place I have never been, in a setting geared for the outgoing entrepreneurs is not exactly in the center of my comfort zone! I learned that being a good team player is a desirable quality for an introvert. Erin’s effervescent, bubbly presence was delightfully inviting to many who came by our table or listened to her presentation. I enjoyed watching her relate to strangers in such a warm and winsome way. My presence was different, but rewarding as well. Among others, I connected with a young woman who was on her way to a movie, and stopped by to see what all the activity was about. As I shared with her, in my way, I learned that she is a young single mom, with goals and aspirations to break the cycle of poverty in her life. She was elated to find out that what she is seeking is what we are offering! This young woman will become our first GED student! How cool is it that our unique qualities and design can work together to make such a positive impact!